Purging the Ego
- Guest Authors
- Apr 15
- 9 min read
By Cleaningselfofself
The assistance of movies or any other attentive entertainment
Scripting The Ego
We begin our day in various ways or activities, like our chores, duties, or employment.
Some of us rest for part of the day before engaging in our duties at night.
To be familiar with the various tasks and duties that some of us may have, they can also include either aiding or helping others, volunteering, providing community support, or even walking your dog.
Whatever your life or activities, we have recorded every moment, scent, feeling, and sight of that day’s experience, so they have been absorbed, and eventually, they have to be drained.
Casting my identities
We are all different, and with those differences come different experiences, and thus various themed movies or video games labeled as genres are accompanied by various actors and images to cater to those differences.
All these preferences were created for me to choose from as a reward or treat for coping with my day or life, which aids in my purging.
On the contrary, we are no different from each other; nature or life is not a particular thing like a bird, tree, your job, car, home, pet, life, etc; it is all that is, which is one, which is love.
These differences can also be identified for the egoic mind to understand as conditions, constructs, contexts, or conceptions, as they are the root of our differences.
I have a phenomenal quantity of information, experiences, thoughts, and images stored as my day progresses, and at times, I have even wondered if the role I perform is the right one.
I find some comfort in this role at times, as I can communicate with others and possibly share and relate to my collection of thoughts, much like trading cards or crypto NFTs.
It is important to remember and be aware that we gossip all day in our skulls, putting labels and judgment on the people we meet and see, as well as the advertisements, images, shapes, and colors that accommodate our field of view 24 hours a day.
This chatter adds more cast members than I really need for my play of life, and at times I feel overwhelmed with the crowd and the noise as my head space can only take so much until I explode, get stressed, angry, or purge, in this case.
But either above or below, light or dark, fullness or emptiness, where, what, when, where, how or who, we are unknowingly in communion with them all.
Whatever it is that I have put the most attention on, it becomes love, hate, happiness, excitement, anger, sadness, compassion, or even sexual desire.
Now, I have all the content I need to develop a cast fit for my preferred viewing pleasures or experiences.
Reviewing the script
What is known—my ego—is put into the darkness, while the spotlight now shines on the empty presence of my being.
We have free will, so we can either choose to play the role of being aware of what is known and continue our characters/egos performance, or we can see that it is not me/ego in the spotlight, but the spotlight is me, and I give light to what is known and unknown, but neither I am nor own.
We are afraid to look at ourselves and therefore reveal the darker parts of our ego with acceptance.
I have realised it is imperative to look at oneself and accept all the good and bad in ourselves so we can put an end to our attachment to them all.
What I mean is that we are accustomed to who we are—our family, friends, lifestyles, and strangers we communicate with—and our emotions, which are a result of feelings—and if we were to know or experience something different, it would become fearful or uncomfortable.
That is attachment and dismemberment of what is known (our lifestyle and our habits).
Life has become a fear and a fight instead of a fight or flight, as it is becoming evident that very soon we won’t be able to make any choices but to face the fear and embrace the fight.
The Fear
Every movie is about obtaining or creating some feeling or experience for the character, whether it be love, money, control, or fear.
The fear, for example, is then transferred within us, the viewer, because we seek something more.
This more is desire; it is the act of stepping away or suppressing the reality we are accustomed to but deeply reject.
Each character in a movie or play is portrayed in the pursuit of what they do or do not want. For example, horror, action, and thriller movies are about characterising fear, control, anticipation, desire, adrenaline, and power, while movies of love or drama can be all of the above, but the central energy is love and compassion.
No matter the genre, it is about creating those very same feelings for the viewers. So, I, the watcher, am no different as I seek to create the same within myself.
The fear, for example, is our problems, circumstances, and ourselves, which we either will not or cannot attend to right now.
So watching a movie or any form of attentive entertainment temporarily directs my attention and senses to an experience of joy and happiness, as they aid in resisting my fear.
To add to that, the happy ones also want to engage in comedy or love programmes to persist in their happiness as a result of the rejection of sadness or suffering.
Whatever you resist it shall persist, maybe not in your life but be sure another is suffering or has suffered to cater for your happiness.
whatever you accept it cannot resist, as there is no disruption only acceptance, nor can it persist, because there is no interruption, only acceptance.
The persona that I am trying to get away from stems from issues with money, relationships, my surroundings, or basically being unsatisfied.
So, we use attentive entertainment to escape what we won’t face and believe we can’t experience, so we can suppress or better ourselves temporarily.
An Audience
What I see is that movies are one of the catalysts for the awakening of suffering, wars, greed, or even peace and happiness. This is because we, as the masses, grant movies, series, and video games all our senses full attention for a minimum of two hours, more than anything else we do in our day-to-day pursuits.
I hear you say, “What are you talking about?! I work all day, and have children and other duties and responsibilities to attend to, so I have no time to do anything else for myself, so I know my attention is on my work and life 24hrs a day”
You are correct in that statement, which is that you work all day along with attending to your duties, but you are unaware of your mind’s movements even though you believe you are attentive.
To be honest, we have become multitasking beings, and we encourage it for the benefit of our employers to reach targets and speed up productivity as a result of greed and our human demand.
But this is at a disadvantage to our awareness of the truth.
This multitasking activity can be anything, such as thinking about what we are going to prepare for tonight’s dinner while filling orders or logging appointments, or evaluating everyone in the room while simultaneously having a commentary about whether the presentation you are presenting is presenting well to those listening.
Even if the tasks entail writing or speaking, we are thinking about something unrelated or picking up information about the people, our environment, or ourselves using calculations, conclusions, and measurement, which you could also identify as comparison, agreement, or disagreement.
It is clear that the audience is cluttered with noise and mess that needs to be purged, and we do not know what we want to watch tonight, so a variety is created to accommodate the variance of our minds
And so, seeing that we are unaware and do not understand the tools that we possess, our collective attention to our movies, shows, or games brings about more of what we don’t like or want from this world or ourselves.
Now I See
We are given many practices and techniques for how to meditate, for example, to be still, silent, present, aware, or attentive to our bodily sensations.
But whatever it is, we find it a bore or a struggle to remain in that state because doing has come to a halt.
To me, meditation is like watching a movie in which our thoughts are the movie scripts and the cast, and “I,” the viewer, do not know what to expect.
The script can be seen as inward or outward commentary or communication with ourselves, like what we know about each character that other characters do not, which develops excitement, anticipation, and a sense of power.
This activity then raises a commentary about the movie’s characters and their surroundings, as well as up-and-coming circumstances or events in the film or program as a result of your knowledge of a character that will lead to a particular event in the film or program.
Now, you may argue, “All that is very hard to do when I am engaged with a character who goes into a dark room, follows in the direction of the scary noise, or is being chased.
Whatever the feeling, I am seeing that “I” SEE, through the beating of my chest, the stiffness of my body, and sensations from my outwardly responses.
Viewing this without attachment will greatly empower you.
The world is changing, and we are losing control over our material lives, which is becoming more transparent; bills are getting harder to pay; and feeding our families is becoming impossible.
If this change doesn’t affect you, it is important to be grateful and help others in need.
We are losing trust and faith in our leaders, institutions, and each other, and it is this surrender that can be looked at as our saviour.
Losing faith, trust, not knowing, giving up our feelings, or the fight is exactly what is needed, so they are released from us and handed to our angels, beings, saviours, and energies for cleansing while we get to work on loving each other, our loved ones, and most importantly, ourselves.
It is then that we will be amazed or in awe at how well-provided we become in our day-to-day lives—not your will, but a higher will—be done.
“Time to Purge”
I’ve written the script for my ego’s day, week, month, or year, and I’ve recorded “my” beliefs, experiences, and emotions, which are required for the genre with which I’ve associated myself.
It is now time to sit back and watch myself in action.
What I am watching is what I cannot do or experience in my reality, and it brings temporary comfort to my current desires and feelings because I cannot attend to them without the assistance of visuals and sounds to bring experiences of excitement and tangibility to my life.
A car will not start if it is not connected properly, just as events and feelings cannot be triggered if our brains are not wired or attached to them.
Also, I find that because of my day, week, month, or year, I am exhausted, bored, or unsatisfied with the elements, experiences, or suffering, and I need to release these feelings through entertainment or activity.
Hence, we unconsciously purge through entertainment to maintain optimal mental health to continue our day-to-day lives while preventing suffering and sadness.
You may agree that this is a wonderful construction, idea, or solution for us to manage our emotions, but what I see is myself in a hamster’s cage with food, water, and toys, as well as a wheel to keep me calm and active so I do not get bored and escape to freedom.
In my opinion, the wheel represents us humans as we continue the cycle of oppression and suffering through our actions, or our consumption of the very institutions, organisations, and sectors that benefit from our wants and desires to increase their wealth, power, and control, while we lose control of our minds.
Curtain Closes, Lights On
If you haven’t understood what the film is about, you have misunderstood, and if you have, you have also misunderstood, as to see the truth requires you to drop all you are and know, to know.
Then, when you know there is nothing to be said, nothing to be done, and nothing to be asked from another, because we individually depart from different locations, lifestyles, or experiences to share and learn, but we inevitably arrive at the same point to view.
So, if you can give the same attention to watching yourself as you do a movie or video game, you too will become the director of your own life.
Sending love, peace, and happiness to you and all your loved ones
My given names are Nathan/Quintin Clarke, and at the time of writing a 43-year-old single parent of 2 teenage boys and girls. I have been very grateful, like many of you, to experience suffering, as it is our gift to learn, wake up, and be fully aware of this dream and the premise of our outer and inner experiences and manifestations. I write mainly on Medium, and you can find more of my work here.
Looking for more spiritual articles?
From Cleaning Self of Self and other Spiritual England contributors
Your Spiritual Home | The Online Spiritual Community
Comments